Oluwagbenga Kolawole
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the cinema. This is where we observe the activities of some hoomans in our midst, both the ones who are currently among us and those who have been taken from us. The cinema is life itself, and the series of events that we see here are basically a reflection.
Today, we will be watching the journey of Olasunmbo Simpman. Olasunmbo is a straight-A student. He is the trailblazer of his family and the pride of his village. He could do no wrong. But Olasunmbo became an adolescent, and he started exhibiting symptoms of that disease. He became hormonal and tried to connect with his spirit animal (whatever that is). His colors were no longer flying like they used to. But then, it didn't really bother him; after all, flying colors are for birds.
Upon his admission to Fess and Bess University, he decides to mingle and make friends. It's during one of his awkward social interactions that he meets Raymond. Raymond is a politically vibrant staylite, and he takes Sumbo under his wing. Or better still, under his armpit, as Sunmbo becomes his political underling. However, Sunmbo also benefits from their symbiotic relationship; he becomes a social lord of sorts.
To strengthen his social status, Raymond introduces him to Sophia, a certified Jesus baddie. And that's when he becomes a literal simp. Sunmbo learns how to establish social authority, but he will never learn how to maneuver a relationship. And thus, he finds himself in a situationship. Even Lord Raymond, the playmaster, couldn't bail him out. He becomes more than just a friend, similar to a cousin, not like an uncle, more like a brother, and very different from a boyfriend.
Sumbo, the pride of Dagiloro village, becomes a simpleton. His personal brand becomes Sophie's Inc, like Sophie's Escort Services, where he escorts her all over campus and across the seven continents; Sophie's Dry-Cleaning, where he assists her in doing her laundry due to the understandable stress of being a student of the Fess and Bess. Also, he becomes the manager of Sophie's wallet, only that the wallet he manages never receives but rather is constantly dispensing.
As a result, he constantly has to go to scorched earth and live a simplistic life; after all, he is a simp.Over time, Sunmbo's academic dreams began to toast. From getting into fights for his political overlord to running errands for his more-than-just-a-friend friend, there's barely any time for him to put his affairs in order. So when the book of life is released and the tsunamis, erosions, earthquakes, and tornadoes begin to happen, Sunmbo finds himself on the other side of the wall, wondering what happened.
Dear audience, I know some of you might be having internal conflict over some of the things I've shown you. You might even be apprehensive about how synonymous Sunmbo's relationship is with some of the relationships you are in right now. But this is not about you. I assure you, it's just a coincidence. This is the story of a finished man, and I trust that you are not one.
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